Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Ugly Baby and The Grocery Goddess

I saw an ugly baby riding along precariously in a shopping cart at the grocery store today, couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl. That poor thing wore only a plain used-to-be-white onesie over it’s disposable diaper, and nothing else. The hair was scraggly and dingy, giving no clues as to gender. Colorless lashless eyes, a mouth like a torn pocket, the sum total of the pitiful little upturned face virtually cried out for sympathy, pity even. The mother, on the other hand, was a goddess. If the mother of that ugly baby isn’t a stripper she should run out and apply, they’d certainly hire her right on the spot, and God knows she already sports the wardrobe pickin’s to qualify. I caught my husband checking her out, (no I didn’t blame him), as there I was giving her a once over myself! Cotton candy hair, long fake eyelashes, she stood at least 5”11, if not 6’ tall, and her breasts were enormous but not too enormous. Every inch of her skin, and there was plenty of it on display, was peaches and cream perfection. No pimples, no blemishes, no freckles, no stretch marks, no cellulite, I’m talking perfect! How she managed to traverse the huge warehouse-like market in those stilettos is unfathomable to me. But there she was gliding through the place, the ugly baby staring at its mama just like everybody else.

Okay, so maybe that baby's mama is a stripper, and maybe she isn’t. Maybe she’s a housewife, (yeah right, wink, wink), or maybe she’s a kept woman. Whatever, she sure did get my writer’s mind churning.

Keep an eye out, the grocery goddess might turn up in one of my stories…


All Rights Reserved. © 2009 by Elizabeth Bradley.

13 comments:

Carol @ TheWritersPorch said...

Wink wink, you won't do girl!
I like this grocery/goddess thing you have going on! Can't wait for this one! :D

Angie Ledbetter said...

Writing fodder everywhere ya turn!

Was the "mom" trying to keep all the shoppers' eyes off her baby?

Kim said...

Maybe the goddess could take some of that time she puts into hair and makeup and dress the baby appropriately. I have a friend who is stunning - I mean stunning to look at. Walking beside her you really have to have a lot of inner self love because you certainly will fade into the background. She always looks flawless...I think it would be exhausting to have to put that kind of effort in all the time.

K. said...

Wow, priceless inspiration...I think I've seen a grocery goddess and her ugly baby before...

Shirley Wells said...

You've described her so well I can see her clearly. Isn't it wonderful when real-life characters set our imaginations running wild. I bet she was a stripper... ;o)

Cheryl said...

Oh! I love running into fascinating people/characters like that. Reminds me life is far more fascinating and strange than we allow ourselves to imagine.

Elizabeth Bradley said...

You wonder, does she think her baby's ugly? Was she an ugly baby herself, and like the ugly duckling did simply transformed into a swan? And, as Kim pointed out, couldn't she put a little time into dressing the baby, maybe lending a clue with a cute little dress or some colorful overalls, as to the gender of said child? Her attitude towards her own offspring seemed somewhat detached. I didn't get the impression that she was giving the baby much thought at all. Sadly, I didn't pay attention to what she was putting in her cart. I wish I had now.

Dave Pie-n-Mash said...

That lucky baby. Being pushed arund in a cart all day by a stripper. Did you take any photos? Just asking...

lakeviewer said...

She's a character for sure. I'm looking forward to the situation she is in.

Have you moved?

Elizabeth Bradley said...

Ah Dave, you're so funny.

I didn't get any pictures, wish I did, everyone is interested.

I moved. Now we're in the organizing, hanging lights, paintings, drapes, pictures etc phase. All I want to do is kick back, but there's so much to do, sigh.

Lauri Kubuitsile said...

I kept thinking the mother was going to turn out to be a drag queen.

It made me think about the short story by Ali Smith with the rude baby in the grocery cart- have you read it? It is hilarious.

Diane said...

Maybe she was the nanny?

Woman in a Window said...

She sounds magnicent! And you know what, I'm sure she's anything but stripper. There are some amazing women in curious packages. Write it!