Thursday, August 6, 2009
Fizzy Water Has No Calories
Living on a diet of fizzy water, bites of saltines, and what tiny scraps I’ve been able to keep down, I’m happy to report there’s a good side to being so ill! I’ve lost three pounds. I’m sure the fevers and chills alone fueled a massive calorie burn.
I’m a bit wonky on my feet today…but (and I say this with some trepidation) I do feel better. Not so sick in my stomach, my head doesn’t ache all that much, a considerable improvement. I won’t be swimming, but I may be able to walk the dogs for the first time in three days (The Husband has been filling in, what a sweetheart) and hopefully I can repay him by cooking something nice for dinner. He’s been making due with leftovers, and once they were gone the poor guy was forced to resort to canned soup.
The other day I was standing in line waiting to purchase some rapid-release Tylenol geltabs at the grocery store, and I happened to look over the cover of one of those silly gossip magazines, and the headline claimed that Jessica Simpson had lost 10lbs in 10 days, or was it 7lbs in 7 days? Anyway, I was pretty delirious, so don’t quote me on the facts or lack thereof. I’m sure that rag was lying. They can print any old damn thing they want. Can you imagine, having cameramen chasing you down, taking unflattering pictures of your ass in compromising positions? I’ve noticed that they like to shoot celebrity women as they attempt to climb out of their cars, as they bend over to do something, you get the picture. My daughter says they wanted to be famous so they deserve what they get. I don’t go along with that. They should be allowed to have a private life. Maybe Jessica just had the flu.
All Rights Reserved. © 2009 by Elizabeth Bradley.