In honor of Halloween I decided to explore the subject of witches/bitches, depending on your viewpoint. I suppose I should start off by saying, I do have my own inner bitch, most women do, don’t they? She comes out when I’m overtired, stressed, or just plain mad. She’s not an in your face bitch, but more grumpy and sulky. If you try to hurt a member of my family, she transforms into the-mother-bear-variety. That said—I do have empathy for other women when their inner bitch materializes, just as long as that inner bitch isn’t predominant and unrestrained.
My mother had trouble keeping her bitch under control. She had an argumentative streak. Her need to be right was ubiquitous. Anyone foolish enough to get in the way of Mom’s delusion of importance would become ready fodder for spiteful retaliation. If you didn’t appreciate her vision of the world—look out—step back. Better yet, make a run for it.
I know an award-winning bitch, one that deserves the-bitch-of-the-decade award. She’s sneaky, underhanded, and diabolical. I’ve witnessed the way she ruined many lives over the years. I have absolutely nothing to do with her anymore. Wouldn’t be caught in her sphere, not for love nor money. Uh-uh. I won’t name her, hat’s not necessary. But, suffice it to say, if I ever decided to base a character on the bitch, that character would be deemed too one-dimensional. I can hear it now, the criticism would sound like something like this: Elizabeth Bradley’s villain, a woman with long dark hair and eyes and an even darker heart, is so hell-bent on wreaking havoc on loved ones, you can’t help but wonder why she hasn’t been expelled from their lives. It’s hard to believe anybody would put up with such a heartless self-centered woman. Although not quite evil enough to be imprisoned, the vile creature is not good enough to be deserving of the reader’s pity or attention.
Do you know a bitch? Are you a bitch? Has a bitch/witch ever put a spell on you?
My youngest daughter carved the pumpkin in the picture above. Won’t it make a spooky Jack-o-lantern?
All Rights Reserved. © 2009 by Elizabeth Bradley.
22 comments:
I second Helen's sentiment. I've known a few, and they're long gone from my life.
I've known some -- but turns out, they mostly needed medication. Still, it's painful to find yourself in a relationship that goes belly-up because you simply couldn't deal with the mood swings -- and/or being caught in the path when the mood swung your way!!
I met this rocking Swedish woman and she said she was a B.I.T.C.H. and now I'm going to see if I can remember what it stood for - Broad In Total Control of Herself! I think that's it. I'm a bitch of every category. I try not to be - I'm not 'bitchy' per se but more wrathfull demon. Nice eh? Well you asked and if you asked my kids or step-kids they'd tell you! but not my grandchildren - I am not bitchy around them. Ooh I just read the others and they're not bitches so maybe I'll be drummed out of our club. Ah well. Can't be helped. It's Halloween and I need to fess up. I'm also an Angel and occasionally a very helpful Fairy and though I've never been an elf (I'm quite tall) I have been a mermaid and once - just once - I was a dryad.
Hmm. I've known quite a few. And I can definitely be one---put me in the mother bear position you mentioned and it comes out with claws bared! But ordinarily, I'm too much in a writing fog to be bitchy. It takes more energy than I can summon up. :)
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
Are you kidding? Your daughter did that pumpkin? That looks awesome!
My girls wanted to decorate pumpkins this year, and I looked up and time had flown past me. I will have to make it up to them, even though I don't think our would have come out as nice as your daughters.
Maybe next year she could give us amateurs a lesson!
That is one awesome pumpkin!!!
I'm pretty calm most of the time - mother bear of course comes out when needed - my job would be no fun if I didn't stay relaxed :)
Bitch, bitch, bitch. Years ago, a good male friend and I used this line every time we needed to vent: "Can I bitch?" I love that sense of the inner bitch in all of us, male or female, the animus, the creature with claws, the Kali. I like a little destructive energy.
So, yes, I have an inner bitch, and she comes out and walks all over everyone on occasion.
Mostly, though, the person who gives me a real pain these days is a bastard (and I'm not talking about a family member). Plenty of those out there, too.
I think the W and B word women are not something I encounter. I hear women talk about those things and men when they complain about women in their lives. In my viewpoint if a woman is deserving of one of those words I need to change associations.
Women talk about it from a different bantering viewpoint out of fun and teasing sometimes. For me those words do not work for me.
I'm pretty easygoing most of the time. I always tell people I save the drama for my fiction. But I will stand up for what's right and I will defend my children.
The only thing I get kinda bitchy about is having to ride in my husband's trashcan car and the toilet paper always being gone when I need it!
I love that jack-o-lantern. your daughter did a great job!
I definitely have an inner bitch...in my twenties I thought I was Dorothy Parker and slashed my acid tongue to make people laugh, usually after a cocktail or two...LOL!
I've learned to bite my tongue...
I know a few people who have moments of inner bitch. But not anyone that I would describe as a total bitch.
Love that pumpkin :)
Sure, I know lots of them. The way that I get around them is to "kill them with kindness". No one can be a bitch for very long when treated with kindness. Well, almost no one. And for those who can, I simply don't go around them. Great jack-o-lantern!
I'm human, both inflict me now and again. Hate it when that happens and end up seeking forgiveness afterward!
AWESOME pumpkin!
Your post reminded me of J.K Rowling saying that the only character that she based on someone in real life was Professor Lockhart... she said that the guy is even MORE self-centered in real life (she toned it down for believability), and that she didn't worry that he would recognize himself, because she's quite sure that he thinks she modeled Harry Potter after him.
I love the pumpkin, what talent she has!
I think our mother's might be related, lol.
I walked away from a few who bitched, when I emigrated and now the slightest hint of one gets me walking the other way.
You must have been reading my mind, because I've been thinking those same exact thoughts lately. A friend I've known since childhood recently did something that ended our friendship and I'm still fairly numb from it. Looking back, the signs and hints were there that she wasn't entirely the friend I thought she was. It was eye-opening to find out her true feelings, but I'm so glad I know now. At this time in my life, I am purging all the bad energy from my life and focusing on only the good.
Yes. I know that witch/bitch person you speak of. Sometimes she is even me.
Great post, Elizabeth! Yes, I know some witches/bitches and I have been one a time or two. It's that "mother tiger" thing that you have with the "mother bear" that brings out the beast in me. As for other bitches, at 55, they are fast becoming memories. I no longer allow people to enter my personal space with those tendencies.
Just saying hi after my involuntary absence.
Oh yes, we all know one don't we? I've known quite a few, some of them ex-friends. The last one I ejected from my life, what a drama that was! Only because we have mutual friends in common, one in particular who felt she had to take sides.
I can be a a bitch myself when I'm really tired or stressed out. (I called my DSL company not too long ago just to yell at someone - I had good reason though!) My sister accuses me of being one, sooner or later, whenever I visit.
Beautiful pumpkin!Y Your daughter did a great job.
The Bitch is a seriously selfish character. I've known my share. One, made my life hell for a while, until I could escape. These folks teach you plenty about life.
Yup, your general description sounds familiar to a few people that have come into, and been subsequently shuffled right out of, my life as well. True witches don't cast evil spells, probably why the term bitch was invented in the first place :-]
Hey, I know of whom you speak. I am so glad she is no longer in our lives! I know what you mean about Mom and I often find myself trying NOT to be like her. Ali is so talented. But what can you expect when both of her parents are so talneted! You should have posted thast picture of you when you were a witch on Halloween about a thousand years ago.
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